He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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