Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
