meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
