omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We need to get me chipped asap
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
