I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
