his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I've blown a few things in my day
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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