I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
