Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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