and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
