The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize