Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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