I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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