imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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