Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
