Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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