She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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