i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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