..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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