people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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