the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
