peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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