I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
