the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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