what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
