Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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