Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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