It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize