Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
