Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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