I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
