i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
