I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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