There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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