my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
