FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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