allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
