Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need to align my fucking chakras
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i out mim tonsoeep
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
