i think i have herpe
just one?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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