They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
