im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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