Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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