Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
