my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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