idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i love accidental penises.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
did i walk over a car last night?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
