is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
