My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
tell me about the eggs
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