Sry I called you an 8
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
