1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Found your dick twin last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
