I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
