I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize