There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
