You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
