He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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