I think i sorta joined a cult last night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
