cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize