You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize