Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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