i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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