You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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