yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
