do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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