She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize