i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
