I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Randomize
