Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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