He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
